Philly the Wonder Guard Dog

I may have complained a time or two (million) about my dog, but generally speaking she's a good guard dog. I feel safe that if any of Stratford's burglars or rapists (read: crystal meth addicts) entered our apartment, Philly would start barking like crazy and hopefully, her Rottweiler instincts would kick in and save the day. However, I recently discovered one emergency in which Philly will be no help whatsoever: a fire.

Here's how I discovered the flaw in Philly's guard. We were making dinner a few weeks ago and for whatever reason, the kitchen filled with smoke and set off the smoke alarm (and for those of you who know me, this has nothing to do with my lack of culinary skills). Since the kitchen window doesn't open (!), S and I started opening all the other windows in the apartment and attempted to open the door so some of the smoke would escape. Apparently, Philly also took this as her chance to escape and proceeded to make her way out of the apartment and down the stairs. We coaxed her back in and had to shut the door. For the next 15 minutes while Steve and I were standing on chairs using records to fan the smoke alarm, Philly was hiding in the bathroom. Yes, that's my rough-and-tough rottie.

A few days later, the same thing happened (again, it wasn't me). Everyone assumed their usual positions – Steve and I fanning the alarm, Philly in the bathroom. But here's the funny thing: I assumed she was just in the bathroom, crouched in the corner or something, but when I looked in on her she was in the bathtub, hiding behind the curtain! It was actually pretty sad because she was literally shaking in fear, but it was also the most adorable thing so I had to take a picture.

P.S. What was NOT so adorable was that she was shaking her effin dog hair all over the bathtub. And if you recall, cleaning the bathtub is my job.

Oh, Philly.

~sbg