In the true spirit of blazé teenagers, my friends and I established "suicide weights" when we were in high school -- as in, "i would kill myself if I ever got to this weight." Of course at that age, filled with high metabolism and self-esteem, this seemed like a safe statement because it was a good 30-40 pounds away. I think you know where this is going.
In September, my coworkers and I decided to have a weight-loss challenge at work. Using the office scale, we all weighed ourselves for our first official entry in the OMG Fat Ass competition. I really didn't know what to expect, since I renounced my scale some time ago (see February 20, 2007 entry). As it turns out, I have not only reached, but actually SURPASSED my suicide weight. Since the other participants were not interested in a murder-murder-suicide pact, I decided instead to analyze how this happened. After much reflection, I've figured out the exact culprints. And oh yeah, I'm naming names.
1. York University: +15 pounds
The much-dreaded freshman 15. What is it exactly? The cafeteria food? Endless cups of double cream/double sugar coffee? I can't pinpoint it, but I know this is where it began. Talk about the price for higher education. I will likely finish paying my studen loans before I lose that original 15 pounds.
2. Fuel Advertising: +10 pounds
My coworkers (and so-called friends) regulary encouraged me to finish their lunches after I finished my own. They revelled in how many I could finish. Given how undervalued I was at that job, I could only delight in their praise. Oprah would have a field day with this one.
3. Joel "One Love" Regular: +5 pounds
For a good 3 months, Joel, Linda and I adopted what I call the "Regular routine" -- five days a week, we would walk to Joel's apartment after work and drink a big bottle of $7 red wine. I'm pretty sure I gained at least five pounds during this period of my life, but I can't be sure since I was sooo drunk.
3. The Bean, a.k.a. Rina Bang: +5 pounds
Oh Rina, with your delightful conversation and irresistable company. Many a day was spent with you, a big plate of pad thai and fried tofu. That's right, I found a way to make tofu unhealthy (and delicious). While it definitely added to the predicament I'm in now, this one was definitely worth every pound (and pound and pound).
4. Burrito Boyz, butter chicken, Marble Slab, cheese croissants: +5 pounds
Due to availability, some are more to blame than others.
Sorry to call you all out like that, but I think we all have to take responsibility for what could have been the death of me. Wish me luck in my weight loss challenge -- the winner is deemed OMG Skinny Bitch.
9 pounds and counting,
sbg
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about me
- superblackgirl
- i was coined "blackgirl" by virtue of being the lone black girl in class, at work, at the party, etc. so i decided instead of feeling uncomfortable, i would just go with it. that's the superblackgirl philosophy: embrace it. own it. make it your superpower.
2 comments:
Ahem.....suicide weight? Methinks I managed to get there and surpass a couple of 'if I ever get to this weight I'll kill myself' weights - and they only got progressively higher (the suicide weight's I mean!)
So, 'cmon give us the skinny on what your weight loss plan is... and please don't tell me it's one of those lose weight quick miracle cures , coz they were what really helped me reach my suicide weight.
*tear*
must.
go.
to.
red room.
... and don't forget the portion savvy chinese joint on Temperance!