So this is the first week of school, and in keeping with my new life resolve, I have been leaving myself a minimum of half an hour to get to school, even though it's only 15 minutes away. With my extra time this morning, I decided to stop and get a tea from Tim Hortons. Apparently, the rocket scientists who work there cannot distinguish between tea and coffee, a fact I did not realize until I was pulling out of the parking lot and the coffee aroma began to fill the car. Because of this error, I had to stop at Williams for a latte before class, which then made me late for class.
In the spirit of a friend's letter to a scissors-packaging manufacturer, I have drafted this plea to the big guy himself:
Dear Mr. Tim Horton,
In my extensive Tim Hortons experience in the Southwestern Ontario region, I have determined that approximately 50% of the time that I place an order for steeped tea I receive coffee instead. Now, I know you didn't achieve global domination of the coffee shop market with that standard in mind, so I feel it is my duty to inform you that your order-taking process may be too complicated for some of the employees at the Tim Hortons franchises.
In your defense, I'm sure you felt that typing an order into the computer as someone places it, and then having a second person read that order and fulfill it, would be straightforward enough. Sadly, this is not the case. I have not yet identified if the problem is the listening, the typing, or the reading, but one or all are clearly too challenging for some of the employees.
I attempted to come up with a new order-taking process for you, but when I tested your current process with a roomful of chimps, they were largely able to get it right. So instead, I suggest more rigorous screening for potential Tim Hortons employees. Exercises such as repeating a sentence you have just spoken, or perhaps reading a few words you have written down (might I suggest words like 'tea' or 'coffee'?) might be a stepping stone to finding that elusive model employee.
I assume you will want to address this problem immediately, especially since the general population is already none-too-pleased at the recent price increase. I look forward to your timely solution and also to receiving the steeped tea I did, in fact, order.
Sincerely,
sbg
3 comments:
last night i went to tim horton's and ordered a steeped tea. then had to point out to the chick that she had no steeped tea ready. then had to ask her to brew some. then she asked if i would mind waiting three minutes for it to brew.
sigh.
don't forget her co-worker who threw her under the bus by agreeing with us and looked quite smug until we reminded her that she didn't make the tea either
Is it that they are getting your order wrong every time, or is it that they are determined to switch all you tea drinkers to coffee drinkers as some form of mass cultural assimilation?
Conspiracy theorists unite!