Why Oprah Exists, or, An Amendment to My Rant

I watched Oprah shortly after writing my elitist rant and was completely ashamed of myself (hmm... is that the real mission of the Angel Network?) I was confronted by young women in the world who have suffered horrors I scarcely encounter in my spoiled, suburban life; girls who have struggled beyond having to put jam on crackers or salsa on rice. And to increase my shame, they were smiling. Happy. Ebullient. Completely and totally the opposite of whiny, bratty me.

This is why I need cable--to make sure I don't turn into a complete asshole. Now just imagine how enlightened I could be if I had ALL the channels.

I never should have stopped reading my self-help book (I'm with you McKinder, bring on the healing! Haters be damned!). Or perhaps I shouldn't have blown off those scientology guys. Sure Tom Cruise is crazy, but he's also crazy-happy, so he must be doing something right. Vitamins and exercise... right Tom?

By the way, I turned down the Rogers job. And dodged their subsequent call regarding my unpaid bill.

All my clouds have silver linings,
sbg

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

*tear*

geez Oprah. it's like a shot in the foot that's in your mouth that bit your arse.

so... you're down with scientology now?

oh the humanity.

xo.

Anonymous said...

Hey sbg don't be so hard on yourself. I believe it's a totally natural human reaction to believe that you have it worse than everyone else in the world, as long as you don't stay in that state for a long period of time. Don't worry about the mud pies that world has been throwing @ you lately never forget that you're a super black girl!

Someone that knows you and loves you...hmmm and you could be related to

Anonymous